all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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