Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
