he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
