How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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