HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
