the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize