So drunk, too bad you don't want this
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
