Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
