So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
