I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
