i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize