Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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