Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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