i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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