Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
