maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize