are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
