ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
