Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's never too late to be topless.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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