maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
