Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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