My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
false alarm, still single
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