I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
