you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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