You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
