I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
