And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
