I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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