Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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