I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
