Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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