My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
