when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
