Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
