perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
