glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
