all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
