Just fell off a train. Bad.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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