i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
