I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
