Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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