i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
