That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
