id be glad to
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
