I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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