Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
