I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
