I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
