why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
where are my eyebrows?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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