my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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