Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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