were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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