It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
