Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize