We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
