I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
