I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
