I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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