Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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